Since the only holiday this month is Tu B’Shevat, the New Year for trees, and I’d forgotten to post for Yom Kippur, I thought I’d post my 10Q responses for this year. Better late than never? And slightly more interesting than the rules regarding tithing of fruit trees. This (10Q) has been a yearly ritual for me since 2010, a way of framing and narrowing the requirements of the Days of Awe and preparing myself for the upcoming year. Sort of like resolutions but somehow more grounded and practical…at the least it contains the extensive naval gazing that tends to happen.
So, below are the eleven questions and my answers for this year.
1. Describe a significant experience that has happened in the past year. How did it affect you? Are you grateful? Relieved? Resentful? Inspired?
I’ve had so many this past year… health issues, buying a new home, leaving a bad relationship, buying a new car, setting some solid boundaries with my mother, letting go of more than a few unfulfilling friendships. Overall I’m happy and grateful for where I am now, I feel inspired to make more changes, push out further from my comfort zone and continue creating the life that I want.
2. Is there something that you wish you had done differently this past year? Alternatively, is there something you’re especially proud of from this past year?
I wish that I’d ended my relationship sooner. It would have saved me some unnecessary anxiety and stress and could have resulted in us ending in a better place.
On the proud side I did accomplish a goal that I’d been working on for more than a year, getting my PMP certification (which I’ve been talking about doing for many years), it was harder than I’d thought but was well worth all of the effort.
3. Think about a major milestone that happened with your family this past year. How has this affected you?
I bought a house this year, pretty much on a dare. It’s the first home that I’ve owned on my own, without a man in my life to help me take care of it and share the financial burden. While I feel so energized by the idea of having this thing that is completely mine, at times it can be as overwhelming as having your first child. I do feel more settled, perhaps grounded here…and for the first time I can say I feel that is a positive.
4. Describe an event in the world that has impacted you this year. How? Why?
The migrant crises in Europe has been and continues to be heartbreaking for me, I so wish that I was able to help them in some more significant way than donating money. The rhetoric surrounding this is also disturbing, the lack of empathy for people fleeing for their own health and safety, the lack of action from our own government, how easy it seems to be for people to turn away. I think of all of the people who are here in this country now that have ancestors who left their home countries due to war, persecution, famine and or poverty…it seems to dishonor them that you would choose to not help someone in the same position.
5. Have you had any particularly spiritual experiences this past year? How has this experience affected you? “Spiritual” can be broadly defined to include secular spiritual experiences: artistic, cultural, and so forth.
I didn’t have any of these experiences this year but instead enjoyed a fairly steady stream of calm, creative and content days. I’ll take that!
6. Describe one thing you’d like to achieve by this time next year. Why is this important to you?
By this time next year I’d like to be in a healthy, satisfying and potentially serious relationship. I’m realizing that I’ve been missing that sense of partnership, of nurturing and being nurtured in turn. Though I think to a larger extent I’ve replaced that role in my life with my circle friends and while they do provide those feelings of belonging, trust and support – I miss having that center in my life. I also feel like it’s time to stop worrying about marriage and just focus on the relationship. Worrying about the future (commitment tend to send me into panic mode) and the responsibilities of being tied done doesn’t do anything but defeat my goals and happiness.
7. How would you like to improve yourself and your life next year? Is there a piece of advice or counsel you received in the past year that could guide you?
Now that I’m past the worst of my health condition and am on the mend, I am focused on getting back into shape and regaining the healthy life style I had years ago. I think the hardest part of this is finding the strength to push past the aches and pains and maintain discipline, my only advice there is approach every day like it’s the only day that matters.
8. Is there something (a person, a cause, an idea) that you want to investigate more fully in 2016?
In 2016 I want to spend more time writing, not only being more disciplined in my writing but also in becoming better at it.
9. What is a fear that you have and how has it limited you? How do you plan on letting it go or overcoming it in the coming year?
My fear that limits me the most is of uncertainty. It has been a regular cause of issues, stress, pain and disappointment in my life. Pushing for things to be a certain has prevented me from making changes in my life, accepting situations that weren’t ideal or even satisfying and it’s also caused problems in my relationships. I’ve been working on acceptance in all areas and reminding myself of the true costs of choices (often nothing) but in the coming year I want to put that into action, making some bold choices in my life and taking some risks without sorting out the safety net first.
10. When September 2016 rolls around and you receive your answers to your 10Q questions, how do you think you’ll feel? What do you think/hope might be different about your life and where you’re at as a result of thinking about and answering these questions?
I hope that I’ll feel proud of all the progress I’ve made, that my body will be healthier, that my life will be happier and full of positive challenges and that I’ll have found the right balance between all of the different aspects of my life.
11. What are your predictions for 2016?
I predict another ridiculous political season that will seriously make me consider moving to another country, better health for myself, better relationships and a new job that I love!
Vibrant Thing 