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Rosh Hashanah

Posted on October 4, 2016 by Oden

L’shanah tovah! Or… For a good year! It’s a shortened version of the full saying (here in the masculine) L’shanah tovah tikatev v’taihatem! Which translates to, “May you be inscribed and sealed for a good year.”  Note… the response is “Gam lekha!” or “Same to you.”

And with that we kick off the Days of Awe with Rosh Hashanah – literally the head of the year. Yes, I am fully aware that it is October but it is also the 1st of Tishri, which on the Jewish calendar is our January – the first month of the year. Before you get all “Whoa! You get to celebrate two New Year’s?!” let me explain why it’s nowhere near the same thing. Nor is it even really a party. In fact, for many of my Jewish friends and me this is the most stressful holiday of the year.

Rosh Hashanah is the “day of judgment.” The Talmud states that three books of account are opened on Rosh Hashanah, where the fates of the righteous, the wicked, and those that fall somewhere in between are recorded. The names of the righteous are immediately inscribed in the book of life, meaning that they are “sealed” to live another year and the wicked are in turn written in into the book of death and basically doomed. Those of us who fall into the suspicious category are allowed ten days, until Yom Kippur, to reflect and repent or not, if we so choose.

The actual requirements of Rosh Hashanah itself are really not that difficult at all. They are comprised of two minhags and one mitzvah:

Hatarat Nedarim – The Annulment of Vows
The morning of Erev Rosh Hashanah in some Jewish communities (not all) there is a ceremony called Hatarat Nedarim which means the annulment of vows. This custom is carried out to repeal specific vows that you have taken upon yourself so that you can start the Days of Awe free from these burdens. The deal is though that you don’t get a free pass. You are required to stand up and face a panel of “judges”, explain why you cannot fulfill a vow that you’ve taken on and request that it be annulled and different types of vows have different processes for release.

Shofar – Call to Repentance
A shofar is a horn from a ram that is blown on Rosh Hashanah to awaken the listeners from their “slumbers” and alert them to the coming judgment. Hearing the shofar is a mitzvah but not a requirement for women and children. Unfortunately hearing a recording, listening live on the radio or internet doesn’t fulfill the requirement as it is an electronic reproduction (even if it is indeed a live recording).

Tashlikh – Casting Off of Sins
This practice is a minhag, a custom, and not a requirement. I believe as a symbolic gesture for this particular holiday it’s a particularly good one. Traditionally you travel to a body of flowing water and “cast off” what is in your pockets showing that you are letting go of your sins, resentments, unfulfilled expectations and basically anything else that you are carrying with you that is a negative. By doing this you give yourself a fresh start to approach The Days’ of Awe in the best frame of mind.

The process of repentance is called Teshivuah. During teshivuah all Jews are encouraged to make amends with anyone they have wronged and to make plans for improving during the coming year. There are many ways you can go about repenting. My personal favorite, and I find the best way of lessening the stress and emotional toll that all of this introspection can take, is to really be kind to you. For the 10 full days, I release myself for all other obligations and focus on my health from a whole body perspective. I consciously eat better, typically kicking off with a Rosh Hashanah cleanse. I meditate and make sure that I get exercise every day. I spend plenty of time on my own thinking and journaling about my relationships and interactions to determine where I can do better. I’ve recently added a new piece to the process – 10Q – and am really pleased so far. Every day you get a new question that prompts you to think of the past year in the context of the holiday. Having something that frames all of this naval gazing into pretty concise statements is very easy and painless.

Regardless of what you specifically practice, this day starts a serious process of examining your life and repenting for any and all wrongs you’ve committed during the previous year. Rosh Hashanah is at its core all about making peace in the community and striving to be a better person.

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July – Shifting Priorities and Perspectives

Posted on July 5, 2016 by Oden

I wrote this back in January:

“Living with Cushing’s requires a significant amount of acceptance and patience; you don’t have much control over your body and every treatment is followed with a wait and see what happens.”

That’s certainly true. In the almost four years that I’ve been struggling to get my Cushing’s back under control, I’ve had many setbacks, stalls and a general state of ambiguity. You never really know what’s going help and for many of the positive results, you end up sliding right back where you were.

I also wrote this:

“I guess I’d have to say that the most important and perhaps more difficult resolution I need to make is to not get derailed by work, my volunteer commitments, feeling defeated by lack of improvement in my condition and the depression that can follow.”

All of the above = Check! It’s so easy for me to ignore commitments to myself for those that I’ve made to others. Procrastination via productivity 😉

Here I am, six months later and largely in the same early stages with all of my personal goals. Two things have changed though; I’ve put the majority of my volunteer commitments on hold and I’ve learned that my ACTH levels are steadily declining. As I start looking at my list, I realize that I’m now in the situation where my free time is unencumbered and that any changes I make health wise will have tangible results.

Last week I caught this video in my feed that really hit home for me: Ryan Carson’s – Begin with the End in Mind. In it he talks about having a personal priority list to check obligations and/or anything on your to-do list against. I’ve decided to try this for the month of July, with my list being:

  1. My Health
  2. Improving Relationships
  3. Nurturing My Creativity
  4. Career Ambitions
  5. Enhancing My Life

Everything I do for the next four weeks will have to fall into one or more of these categories or it won’t be given priority. I must do something every week that contributes positively to these priorities and when a conflict comes up, I can either pick the one that fills more than one category or chose which one has a higher priority. I like to think this is a brutally efficient method of enforcing my own personal life balance.

My goal is to end July with a clear set of life reaffirming daily habits: exercise, meditation, mindfulness, gratitude, time devoted to my loved ones and to my writing and creativity, and growth. A month that I can look back on and think of all the accomplishments and not wonder where all the time went.

 

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Jewish Times – 10Q

Posted on January 7, 2016 by Oden

Since the only holiday this month is Tu B’Shevat, the New Year for trees, and I’d forgotten to post for Yom Kippur, I thought I’d post my 10Q responses for this year. Better late than never? And slightly more interesting than the rules regarding tithing of fruit trees. This (10Q) has been a yearly ritual for me since 2010, a way of framing and narrowing the requirements of the Days of Awe and preparing myself for the upcoming year. Sort of like resolutions but somehow more grounded and practical…at the least it contains the extensive naval gazing that tends to happen.

So, below are the eleven questions and my answers for this year.

1. Describe a significant experience that has happened in the past year. How did it affect you? Are you grateful? Relieved? Resentful? Inspired?

I’ve had so many this past year… health issues, buying a new home, leaving a bad relationship, buying a new car, setting some solid boundaries with my mother, letting go of more than a few unfulfilling friendships. Overall I’m happy and grateful for where I am now, I feel inspired to make more changes, push out further from my comfort zone and continue creating the life that I want.

2. Is there something that you wish you had done differently this past year? Alternatively, is there something you’re especially proud of from this past year?

I wish that I’d ended my relationship sooner. It would have saved me some unnecessary anxiety and stress and could have resulted in us ending in a better place.
On the proud side I did accomplish a goal that I’d been working on for more than a year, getting my PMP certification (which I’ve been talking about doing for many years), it was harder than I’d thought but was well worth all of the effort.

3. Think about a major milestone that happened with your family this past year. How has this affected you?

I bought a house this year, pretty much on a dare. It’s the first home that I’ve owned on my own, without a man in my life to help me take care of it and share the financial burden. While I feel so energized by the idea of having this thing that is completely mine, at times it can be as overwhelming as having your first child. I do feel more settled, perhaps grounded here…and for the first time I can say I feel that is a positive.

4. Describe an event in the world that has impacted you this year. How? Why?

The migrant crises in Europe has been and continues to be heartbreaking for me, I so wish that I was able to help them in some more significant way than donating money. The rhetoric surrounding this is also disturbing, the lack of empathy for people fleeing for their own health and safety, the lack of action from our own government, how easy it seems to be for people to turn away. I think of all of the people who are here in this country now that have ancestors who left their home countries due to war, persecution, famine and or poverty…it seems to dishonor them that you would choose to not help someone in the same position.

5. Have you had any particularly spiritual experiences this past year? How has this experience affected you? “Spiritual” can be broadly defined to include secular spiritual experiences: artistic, cultural, and so forth.

I didn’t have any of these experiences this year but instead enjoyed a fairly steady stream of calm, creative and content days. I’ll take that!

6. Describe one thing you’d like to achieve by this time next year. Why is this important to you?

By this time next year I’d like to be in a healthy, satisfying and potentially serious relationship. I’m realizing that I’ve been missing that sense of partnership, of nurturing and being nurtured in turn. Though I think to a larger extent I’ve replaced that role in my life with my circle friends and while they do provide those feelings of belonging, trust and support – I miss having that center in my life. I also feel like it’s time to stop worrying about marriage and just focus on the relationship. Worrying about the future (commitment tend to send me into panic mode) and the responsibilities of being tied done doesn’t do anything but defeat my goals and happiness.

7. How would you like to improve yourself and your life next year? Is there a piece of advice or counsel you received in the past year that could guide you?

Now that I’m past the worst of my health condition and am on the mend, I am focused on getting back into shape and regaining the healthy life style I had years ago. I think the hardest part of this is finding the strength to push past the aches and pains and maintain discipline, my only advice there is approach every day like it’s the only day that matters.

8. Is there something (a person, a cause, an idea) that you want to investigate more fully in 2016?

In 2016 I want to spend more time writing, not only being more disciplined in my writing but also in becoming better at it.

9. What is a fear that you have and how has it limited you? How do you plan on letting it go or overcoming it in the coming year?

My fear that limits me the most is of uncertainty. It has been a regular cause of issues, stress, pain and disappointment in my life. Pushing for things to be a certain has prevented me from making changes in my life, accepting situations that weren’t ideal or even satisfying and it’s also caused problems in my relationships. I’ve been working on acceptance in all areas and reminding myself of the true costs of choices (often nothing) but in the coming year I want to put that into action, making some bold choices in my life and taking some risks without sorting out the safety net first.

10. When September 2016 rolls around and you receive your answers to your 10Q questions, how do you think you’ll feel? What do you think/hope might be different about your life and where you’re at as a result of thinking about and answering these questions?

I hope that I’ll feel proud of all the progress I’ve made, that my body will be healthier, that my life will be happier and full of positive challenges and that I’ll have found the right balance between all of the different aspects of my life.

11. What are your predictions for 2016?

I predict another ridiculous political season that will seriously make me consider moving to another country, better health for myself, better relationships and a new job that I love!

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January Goals – Diet and Exercise

Posted on January 5, 2016 by Oden

Living with Cushings requires a significant amount of acceptance and patience; you don’t have much control over your body and every treatment is followed with a wait and see what happens. Last year I started off with quite a bit of optimism, what followed was frustrating – radiation and surgery without any significant changes. I ended the year with six month check up where instead of celebrating success, we talked about my options going forward.

It hasn’t been all bad news though – I have maintained my weight during the last year, my ACTH levels are steady, I’m not seeing any additional side effects from the extra weight, and my headaches and muscle aches are still infrequent. These are small wins but they are still wins.

This year my only resolution is to push harder. Regardless of the state of my disease in the coming months I want to work on my endurance, my strength and flexibility while preventing any further weight gain and hopefully keeping my blood pressure and blood sugar in check.

Alright, on to the specifics…

Diet

I’m happy with the 1800 calorie diet plan my nutritionist and I settled on last year, the only change I’m going to make is to reduce it to 1500 calories and effectively eliminating a cheat day – I do this because I find that cravings are progressively so much worse as that day comes around and I feel it’s better to maintain moderation than go crazy once a week.

Exercise

For endurance I’ve decided to work on progressively more challenging hikes, I really enjoy hiking and pushing myself while enjoying a new environment sounds like the perfect combination. I also really miss running but every attempt I’ve made in the last two years to get back into the routine has resulted in pain. This year I’m going to follow a program I found through Runner’s World that over twenty one weeks get’s you back into running four times a week.

Strength will be tackled through a combination of adding more weight to my current program as well as adding in a couple of mini workouts throughout the day – I’m going to try out 7 Minutes for the first month and see how that works for me.

Flexibility is all about getting my yoga routine back in force. Years ago my practice consisted of Sun Salutations every morning, a twenty minute flow midday, a restorative flow at night and three 90 minute classes every week at an Anusara studio. I’m positive I won’t be able to fit in the classes but I can certainly do the rest.

Meditation

About a month ago I joined Headspace, a site that helps train you in mindfulness meditation, trying to fit that in every day over the holidays proved difficult, something I’ll need to work on during the next month. I’m shooting for every morning but I’ll take 4-5 times a week as success.

 

I guess I’d have to say that the most important and perhaps more difficult resolution I need to make is to not get derailed by work, my volunteer commitments, feeling defeated by lack of improvement in my condition and the depression that can follow. Procrastination via responsibilities?! Well, balance hasn’t traditionally been my strongest skills, here’s hoping I can find the right mix this year.

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Jewish Times – Rosh Hashanah

Posted on September 10, 2015 by Oden

L’shanah Tovah! Which means – For a good year! It’s a shortened version of the full saying (here in the masculine) L’shanah tovah tikatev v’taihatem! Which translates to, “May you be inscribed and sealed for a good year.”  And with that we kick off the Days of Awe with Rosh Hashanah – literally the head of the year. The Days of Awe are the period between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, dedicated to some serious introspection, reconciliation and preparation for a new year. Before you get all “Whoa! You get to celebrate two New Year’s?!” let me explain why while at the surface the holidays are similar, there are some significant differences.

Rosh Hashanah is the “day of judgment.” The Talmud states that three books of account are opened on Rosh Hashanah, where the fates of the wicked, the righteous, and those of us who fall somewhere in between are recorded. The names of the righteous are immediately inscribed in the book of life, meaning that they are “sealed” to live another year. The suspicious ones are allowed ten days, until Yom Kippur, to reflect and repent, and the wicked are basically doomed.

The actual requirements of Rosh Hashanah itself are really not that difficult at all. They are comprised of two minhags and one mitzvah:

Hatarat Nedarim – The Annulment of Vows

The morning of Erev Rosh Hashanah in some Jewish communities (not all) there is a ceremony called Hatarat Nedarim which means the annulment of vows. This custom is carried out to repeal specific vows that you have taken upon yourself so that you can start the Days of Awe free from these burdens. The deal is though that you don’t get a free pass. You are required to stand up and face a panel of “judges”, explain why you cannot fulfill a vow that you’ve taken on and request that it be annulled and different types of vows have different processes for release.

Shofar – Call to Repentance

A shofar is a horn from a ram that is blown on Rosh Hashanah to awaken the listeners from their “slumbers” and alert them to the coming judgment. Hearing the shofar is a mitzvah but not a requirement for women and children. Unfortunately hearing a recording, listening live on the radio or internet doesn’t fulfill the requirement as it is an electronic reproduction (even if it is indeed a live recording).

Tashlikh – Casting Off of Sins

This practice is a minhag, a custom, and not a requirement. I believe though as a symbolic gesture for this particular holiday it’s a good one. Traditionally you travel to a body of flowing water and “cast off” what is in your pockets showing that you are letting go of your sins, resentments, unfulfilled expectations and basically anything else that you are carrying with you that is a negative. By doing this you give yourself a fresh start to approach The Days’ of Awe in the best frame of mind.

Once that’s all done we begin the process of repentance is called teshuvah. During teshuvah all Jews are encouraged to make amends with anyone they have wronged and to make plans for improving themselves during the coming year and wronged covers a ton of ground here, anything from gossip to theft is fair game.  A few years ago I found out about  10Q, a site where you answer questions during the Days of Awe to help you contextualize the previous year’s events and create a plan for being better in the coming year. Not only does this make the whole process much easier but I’ve also found it helpful to be able to look at my answers from years ago, see how far I’ve come and where I still need focus.

I wouldn’t say this is my favorite set of Jewish holidays, but it is so key to my beliefs about myself, personal growth and responsibility that I never hesitate to participate even when it’s painful.

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