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Category Archives: Healthier Me

Habits – October 2016

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My goal in July was to end October with a clear set of life reaffirming daily habits: exercise, meditation, mindfulness, gratitude, time devoted to my loved ones and to my writing and creativity, and growth. I think I’ve narrowed down what I need to be doing there and have set up my schedule to reflect that, unfortunately my job isn’t in a place where it doesn’t interfere with everything on that list on a regular basis. I’m also clearly seeing that if I want that to change that I do need to make my career growth and development a priority as well, so I shuffled the deck a bit to reflect that.

  1. My Health
  2. Improving Relationships
  3. Creative Pursuits
  4. Career Ambitions
  5. Purpose

My Health

This past week I had surgery to correct a pituitary adenoma apoplexy during which they removed what’s (visibly) left of the tumor. Once my restrictions are cleared I’m going back to my normal diet and exercise regime and I’m hopeful that this time around I’ll start seeing some results. The last couple of months my ACTH levels were going down pretty steadily and there isn’t any reason why that shouldn’t continue to be the case. Well other than optimism bordering on hubris?!

Improving Relationships

I haven’t done much on this one other than committing myself to two things; no longer assuming or thinking for others and no longer excusing behavior. On the former, I’ve found that I’ve fallen into the habit of deciding what other people mean/intend/want based on their actions. Which isn’t at all fair to them and results in plenty of frustration on both parts – to stop this I’ve just started asking for clarification. For the latter, I’ve determined that I keep too many relationships dragging on an on thinking that ‘maybe they’ll change’ or ‘maybe they didn’t mean it’. Again this isn’t exactly fair to either of us so I’m now simply ending relationships or letting them end naturally as a result. I’ve found that with the four where this came into play that no one questioned or fought to keep things going – a positive sign I think.

Creative Pursuits

Well there is this… and in general writing more… which is a regular struggle but I feel like I’m gaining some ground at least. Along with that I’m doing more and more crafting, photography and in general enjoying, really living in the moment, with everything I do that has a creative aspect. I’m hoping to expand my scope as I go but at this moment, I’m very happy with what I’m doing.

As to the rest, well those are both TBD right now. I feel like I have enough on my to-do list with the above and the thought of adding time or cycles to the other two just causes anxiety. My plate is pretty full! That’s about all I’ve got for this month, I’m going to continue on with the plans I have and see how I feel at the end of the month about what I’ve accomplished and learned along the way.

 

July – Shifting Priorities and Perspectives

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I wrote this back in January:

“Living with Cushing’s requires a significant amount of acceptance and patience; you don’t have much control over your body and every treatment is followed with a wait and see what happens.”

That’s certainly true. In the almost four years that I’ve been struggling to get my Cushing’s back under control, I’ve had many setbacks, stalls and a general state of ambiguity. You never really know what’s going help and for many of the positive results, you end up sliding right back where you were.

I also wrote this:

“I guess I’d have to say that the most important and perhaps more difficult resolution I need to make is to not get derailed by work, my volunteer commitments, feeling defeated by lack of improvement in my condition and the depression that can follow.”

All of the above = Check! It’s so easy for me to ignore commitments to myself for those that I’ve made to others. Procrastination via productivity 😉

Here I am, six months later and largely in the same early stages with all of my personal goals. Two things have changed though; I’ve put the majority of my volunteer commitments on hold and I’ve learned that my ACTH levels are steadily declining. As I start looking at my list, I realize that I’m now in the situation where my free time is unencumbered and that any changes I make health wise will have tangible results.

Last week I caught this video in my feed that really hit home for me: Ryan Carson’s – Begin with the End in Mind. In it he talks about having a personal priority list to check obligations and/or anything on your to-do list against. I’ve decided to try this for the month of July, with my list being:

  1. My Health
  2. Improving Relationships
  3. Nurturing My Creativity
  4. Career Ambitions
  5. Enhancing My Life

Everything I do for the next four weeks will have to fall into one or more of these categories or it won’t be given priority. I must do something every week that contributes positively to these priorities and when a conflict comes up, I can either pick the one that fills more than one category or chose which one has a higher priority. I like to think this is a brutally efficient method of enforcing my own personal life balance.

My goal is to end July with a clear set of life reaffirming daily habits: exercise, meditation, mindfulness, gratitude, time devoted to my loved ones and to my writing and creativity, and growth. A month that I can look back on and think of all the accomplishments and not wonder where all the time went.

 

January Goals – Diet and Exercise

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Living with Cushings requires a significant amount of acceptance and patience; you don’t have much control over your body and every treatment is followed with a wait and see what happens. Last year I started off with quite a bit of optimism, what followed was frustrating – radiation and surgery without any significant changes. I ended the year with six month check up where instead of celebrating success, we talked about my options going forward.

It hasn’t been all bad news though – I have maintained my weight during the last year, my ACTH levels are steady, I’m not seeing any additional side effects from the extra weight, and my headaches and muscle aches are still infrequent. These are small wins but they are still wins.

This year my only resolution is to push harder. Regardless of the state of my disease in the coming months I want to work on my endurance, my strength and flexibility while preventing any further weight gain and hopefully keeping my blood pressure and blood sugar in check.

Alright, on to the specifics…

Diet

I’m happy with the 1800 calorie diet plan my nutritionist and I settled on last year, the only change I’m going to make is to reduce it to 1500 calories and effectively eliminating a cheat day – I do this because I find that cravings are progressively so much worse as that day comes around and I feel it’s better to maintain moderation than go crazy once a week.

Exercise

For endurance I’ve decided to work on progressively more challenging hikes, I really enjoy hiking and pushing myself while enjoying a new environment sounds like the perfect combination. I also really miss running but every attempt I’ve made in the last two years to get back into the routine has resulted in pain. This year I’m going to follow a program I found through Runner’s World that over twenty one weeks get’s you back into running four times a week.

Strength will be tackled through a combination of adding more weight to my current program as well as adding in a couple of mini workouts throughout the day – I’m going to try out 7 Minutes for the first month and see how that works for me.

Flexibility is all about getting my yoga routine back in force. Years ago my practice consisted of Sun Salutations every morning, a twenty minute flow midday, a restorative flow at night and three 90 minute classes every week at an Anusara studio. I’m positive I won’t be able to fit in the classes but I can certainly do the rest.

Meditation

About a month ago I joined Headspace, a site that helps train you in mindfulness meditation, trying to fit that in every day over the holidays proved difficult, something I’ll need to work on during the next month. I’m shooting for every morning but I’ll take 4-5 times a week as success.

 

I guess I’d have to say that the most important and perhaps more difficult resolution I need to make is to not get derailed by work, my volunteer commitments, feeling defeated by lack of improvement in my condition and the depression that can follow. Procrastination via responsibilities?! Well, balance hasn’t traditionally been my strongest skills, here’s hoping I can find the right mix this year.

Progress – Week One

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My Fitbit One met with an unfortunate and seriously ill timed accident early this week. I’d had it come loose from clothing twice during the day, each time I heard it drop and picked it up quickly. However the third time I did not notice it had dropped off into the street until it minutes later when it had been run over at least once. It did not survive.

I spent a few days doing some comparison shopping for a new tracking device, figuring I’d take this opportunity to see if some of the new wearables struck my fancy. My requirements are pretty straightforward; steps, stairs, miles, calories burned and sleep. I have two great heart monitors so that’s not a factor. I also wear watches and bracelets so a device I have to wear on my wrist isn’t ideal unless it’s neutral enough to go with anything. In the end I decided to stick with Fitbit and ordered a new One.

Thoughts on the Week

I love my new regime! I have, for 10 years now, primarily been working out with a trainer. I don’t particularly like large gyms, I prefer to work out one-on-one or in small groups and tackle cardio on my own either dance, running or hiking. If you’d told me before last week that I’d work harder, sweat more and ENJOY every minute of a DVD strength workout, I’d have called you crazy but here I am, more sore than I’ve ever been, totally digging Jillian Michael’s Body Revolution.

However, I completely need the accountability of a tracker. I was completely undisciplined when it came to the stairs and steps this week and I’m sure that’s a big factor in my activity level.

I also realized that I need a no eating after 7pm rule. Three nights this week I had early social commitments where I had access to relatively healthy meals and instead of going that route chose to eat when I got home, wouldn’t have been so bad if I hadn’t eaten poorly and late but recognizing that being tired and very hungry are not a good combination for me when it comes to taking the time to prepare a healthy meal.

 

Getting My Vibrant Back

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I have spent most of the last year in a holding pattern.  My health while outwardly (to most folks) you would assume was pretty good has not been so much; a few years ago I discovered that I was having a recurrence of Cushing’s Syndrome which for me is caused by tiny tumors on my pituitary gland. Briefly what happens with Cushing’s is your body is flooded with cortisol, creating a fight or flight condition where you store fat, a lot of it. It also causes headaches, increased bruising and healing times, acne, fatigue, muscle weakness, high blood pressure and blood sugar, and stretch marks (my personal favorite).  And to add a cherry to all of this you’re also susceptible to all the side effects that go along with being overweight.

Much of 2014 was focused on my treatments and less about addressing my weight or more accurately the intent to lose weight, instead my focus has been on not gaining more weight while on my doctors have worked to control of my disease.  Which was a good thing, in my opinion, my weight gain from in 2013 was +/- 40lbs compared to only 8lbs in 2014.

Recently, I have been given the good news that these tumors now no longer visible via imaging; they are still there, but are now reduced to the point where my body no longer overwhelmed with cortisol but is actually creating less and less of it every week. I’m not entirely out of the woods yet, there are other potential complications that could happen and there is always the possibility of another recurrence down the line. I am, though, finally in a place where I can start looking at getting this weight off of me.

So where do I start?! Well I have been, for last year, on a pretty straightforward diet and exercise plan, after working with a nutritionist last year, I do eat pretty healthy, give myself a cheat day once a week but stick around 1500 calories a day.  If you look at my nutritional stats I eat lots of fruits and veggies, very little fat and a very limited amount of carbs outside of fruit and vegetables – most of my splurges are in the form of wine.  On the exercise side I have stuck with a basic boot camp style strength program, Zumba or walking for cardio and a weekly hike to round things out.

With the reduction in cortisol, I should be able to make some minor tweaks and start seeing some good results but I am impatient. I’m switching to a more challenging boot camp, upping the Zumba as well as adding the elliptical, and adding an evening workout that will of alternate between power yoga and a walk/run program. I’ll also up the intensity of my hikes but that’ll be more progressive. This will completely encompass the next 90 days, monitored entirely by my trusty Fitbit.

On the diet side, for the first two weeks I’m going to continue on with my current diet then progressively decrease my calories down to 1200. I have a plethora of diet tools at my disposal; everything from spreadsheets to MyFitnessPal, weeding that down to one thing that works well for me may in fact be a bigger challenge than losing the actual weight.

Going forward I’m going to use Sunday progress posts as a way of keeping myself accountable, and only doing an occasional Thursday post when I find something interesting or decide to try something entirely new. Wish me luck!