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July – Shifting Priorities and Perspectives

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I wrote this back in January:

“Living with Cushing’s requires a significant amount of acceptance and patience; you don’t have much control over your body and every treatment is followed with a wait and see what happens.”

That’s certainly true. In the almost four years that I’ve been struggling to get my Cushing’s back under control, I’ve had many setbacks, stalls and a general state of ambiguity. You never really know what’s going help and for many of the positive results, you end up sliding right back where you were.

I also wrote this:

“I guess I’d have to say that the most important and perhaps more difficult resolution I need to make is to not get derailed by work, my volunteer commitments, feeling defeated by lack of improvement in my condition and the depression that can follow.”

All of the above = Check! It’s so easy for me to ignore commitments to myself for those that I’ve made to others. Procrastination via productivity 😉

Here I am, six months later and largely in the same early stages with all of my personal goals. Two things have changed though; I’ve put the majority of my volunteer commitments on hold and I’ve learned that my ACTH levels are steadily declining. As I start looking at my list, I realize that I’m now in the situation where my free time is unencumbered and that any changes I make health wise will have tangible results.

Last week I caught this video in my feed that really hit home for me: Ryan Carson’s – Begin with the End in Mind. In it he talks about having a personal priority list to check obligations and/or anything on your to-do list against. I’ve decided to try this for the month of July, with my list being:

  1. My Health
  2. Improving Relationships
  3. Nurturing My Creativity
  4. Career Ambitions
  5. Enhancing My Life

Everything I do for the next four weeks will have to fall into one or more of these categories or it won’t be given priority. I must do something every week that contributes positively to these priorities and when a conflict comes up, I can either pick the one that fills more than one category or chose which one has a higher priority. I like to think this is a brutally efficient method of enforcing my own personal life balance.

My goal is to end July with a clear set of life reaffirming daily habits: exercise, meditation, mindfulness, gratitude, time devoted to my loved ones and to my writing and creativity, and growth. A month that I can look back on and think of all the accomplishments and not wonder where all the time went.

 

Getting My Vibrant Back

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I have spent most of the last year in a holding pattern.  My health while outwardly (to most folks) you would assume was pretty good has not been so much; a few years ago I discovered that I was having a recurrence of Cushing’s Syndrome which for me is caused by tiny tumors on my pituitary gland. Briefly what happens with Cushing’s is your body is flooded with cortisol, creating a fight or flight condition where you store fat, a lot of it. It also causes headaches, increased bruising and healing times, acne, fatigue, muscle weakness, high blood pressure and blood sugar, and stretch marks (my personal favorite).  And to add a cherry to all of this you’re also susceptible to all the side effects that go along with being overweight.

Much of 2014 was focused on my treatments and less about addressing my weight or more accurately the intent to lose weight, instead my focus has been on not gaining more weight while on my doctors have worked to control of my disease.  Which was a good thing, in my opinion, my weight gain from in 2013 was +/- 40lbs compared to only 8lbs in 2014.

Recently, I have been given the good news that these tumors now no longer visible via imaging; they are still there, but are now reduced to the point where my body no longer overwhelmed with cortisol but is actually creating less and less of it every week. I’m not entirely out of the woods yet, there are other potential complications that could happen and there is always the possibility of another recurrence down the line. I am, though, finally in a place where I can start looking at getting this weight off of me.

So where do I start?! Well I have been, for last year, on a pretty straightforward diet and exercise plan, after working with a nutritionist last year, I do eat pretty healthy, give myself a cheat day once a week but stick around 1500 calories a day.  If you look at my nutritional stats I eat lots of fruits and veggies, very little fat and a very limited amount of carbs outside of fruit and vegetables – most of my splurges are in the form of wine.  On the exercise side I have stuck with a basic boot camp style strength program, Zumba or walking for cardio and a weekly hike to round things out.

With the reduction in cortisol, I should be able to make some minor tweaks and start seeing some good results but I am impatient. I’m switching to a more challenging boot camp, upping the Zumba as well as adding the elliptical, and adding an evening workout that will of alternate between power yoga and a walk/run program. I’ll also up the intensity of my hikes but that’ll be more progressive. This will completely encompass the next 90 days, monitored entirely by my trusty Fitbit.

On the diet side, for the first two weeks I’m going to continue on with my current diet then progressively decrease my calories down to 1200. I have a plethora of diet tools at my disposal; everything from spreadsheets to MyFitnessPal, weeding that down to one thing that works well for me may in fact be a bigger challenge than losing the actual weight.

Going forward I’m going to use Sunday progress posts as a way of keeping myself accountable, and only doing an occasional Thursday post when I find something interesting or decide to try something entirely new. Wish me luck!